My good friend Brian (who i call B) likes drinking beer as much as the next guy. One night i decided to have a bunch of people over and we could party it up. I invite lots of people, B included. Everythings going great, everyones having fun, we saw a few boobs, what more could we ask for.
Travis wanted to fuck some girl there so he was trying everything he could to get closer to this girl, so he decides we should do belly shots. Well me being a beer drinker, I have very little hard liquor in my house
I went to find something for him and all i had was vanilla vodka and george dickle that glenn left at my house from new years eve, a good 9 months before.
He chose the george dickle and he finally talked the girl into it and they did that a few times.
There was probably 5 more shots left in this bottle and B goes let me see that, im gonna chug it. I go i got a better idea, why dont you bong it. So he's like alright and bongs the 5 shots.
Then we all decide to bong some beers and B bongs 2 or 3 beers.
After a couple minutes B announces "Hey nick isnt here (at his downstairs apartment) lets go party down there!"
alright, everyone goes down, we dont really know why, we were having fun, but we just went with it.
We get down there and everyone is just chillin. Travis is on the couch mackin on the same girl still when B yells something at him
Travis turns around and very jokingly yells Fuck you B
B's like what did you say
so he repeats it and B repeats what did you say again
they do this like 5 times for whatever reason
B gets pissed and storms into the kitchen. Im not really sure what he was doing because i was scanning through a camera that one of the girls owned and was looking for boobs (ironically all i found was a dick)
next thing i know B says "everyone out"
Me and everyone else are kinda like what.....
then he yells it loud, so then jack tries to calm him down or whatever
B isnt having it, hes mixed beer and hard liquor and thats never a good time when B's around, but we always forget when were drunk
I'm standing up at this point and then he yells it again then tries pushing/flipping a chair, i dunno, i remember he looked silly doing whatever he was doing but he was very angry now
one girl was still sitting at the table that was covered in like 8 open beers when B decides to flip the table onto this girl
at that point im like grab my brand new case off beer and lets get out of here
some one tried to pick the beers up but B yelled at them not to and get out
its a good thing he said that because if they didnt i sure would have told them not to clean it up
and in case you were wondering B called me the next day an appologized
and if you were wondering about the other thing, yes travis fucked that girl that night too
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Mike again
Mike is still a paranoid freak. Nothings changed except im married now and officially related to him.
One night me and the wife and kid were out with him and his wife. He recently added chain locks to his side door on his garage. This pissed off michaela because she used to drop in everyonce in a while to grab something and every other door already had chain locks on them so this was her one entrance.
Michaela started going off about how she was mad about this. Mikes response was that it was a security precaution. Which i can understand,being the schitzo he is thinking the entire world is after him and all his great possessions he doesnt own.
So I'm listening in to get all the details before I say anything. Finally I say
"Mike do you head deadbolts on your doors that you lock also"
"well of course"
"Well I hate to tell you but if i burglar can get passed a deadbolt, a chain lock wont do a single thing, I can ram my shoulder into a door with a chain lock and break it off no problem"
"well it'll atleast give me a little extra time to be on the defense"
"well didnt you just say you only lock it when you are gone, and you dont have any weapons in the house, i dont think a guy that can bust through a deadbolt or a chain lock will have any problem taking you out"
I dont quiet remember what he said after that but he still believed he was in the right and that no burglar could ever get in their house now
He lives in a great little neighborhood, all the neighbors have kids 12 and under,its a big family neighborhood. Im a little naive but for one, i dont see many burglaries going down in that neighborhod. and two, my parents live in a neighborhood that is almost all old people chillin, enjoying retirement.
Last year some one broke into one of the houses in the night, tied up the people inside and stole tons of shit.
What did my parents do? You guessed it, they didnt buy a chain lock for their doors
they bought a whole security system like anyone with a fucking brain would
A burglar might come up to a door thats locked and say fuck, i dont want to make lots of noise pounding at this door, so they will find a secluded window and bust that open. whats a chain lock protecting then?
if you have a security system alarms would still go off
mike is a retard
One night me and the wife and kid were out with him and his wife. He recently added chain locks to his side door on his garage. This pissed off michaela because she used to drop in everyonce in a while to grab something and every other door already had chain locks on them so this was her one entrance.
Michaela started going off about how she was mad about this. Mikes response was that it was a security precaution. Which i can understand,being the schitzo he is thinking the entire world is after him and all his great possessions he doesnt own.
So I'm listening in to get all the details before I say anything. Finally I say
"Mike do you head deadbolts on your doors that you lock also"
"well of course"
"Well I hate to tell you but if i burglar can get passed a deadbolt, a chain lock wont do a single thing, I can ram my shoulder into a door with a chain lock and break it off no problem"
"well it'll atleast give me a little extra time to be on the defense"
"well didnt you just say you only lock it when you are gone, and you dont have any weapons in the house, i dont think a guy that can bust through a deadbolt or a chain lock will have any problem taking you out"
I dont quiet remember what he said after that but he still believed he was in the right and that no burglar could ever get in their house now
He lives in a great little neighborhood, all the neighbors have kids 12 and under,its a big family neighborhood. Im a little naive but for one, i dont see many burglaries going down in that neighborhod. and two, my parents live in a neighborhood that is almost all old people chillin, enjoying retirement.
Last year some one broke into one of the houses in the night, tied up the people inside and stole tons of shit.
What did my parents do? You guessed it, they didnt buy a chain lock for their doors
they bought a whole security system like anyone with a fucking brain would
A burglar might come up to a door thats locked and say fuck, i dont want to make lots of noise pounding at this door, so they will find a secluded window and bust that open. whats a chain lock protecting then?
if you have a security system alarms would still go off
mike is a retard
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