Mallard Fillmore

I read the newspaper everyday at work,but my favorite part to read is with out a doubt the comics. I cant wait to get to work just to read them.
Ive never seen any comics outside of the jefferson city paper so when i started my new job and started reading the st louis and kansas city papers i became familiar with lots of new funny comics
except one,named mallard fillmore
i go on rants on a daily basis to my coworkers about how much i hate this comic
then one day i decided i was going to write the cartoonist and tell him to quit because he sucked
i was originally going to fill it with cuss words every other word,but then i decided it would be way awesome to get a response from this guy,so i toned it down and hopefully i will get a response from him now.
heres the letter





Dear Bruce,
One day I was reading the St Louis Post Dispatch. I read the comic section going from comic to comic laughing to myself at the crazy antics of Garfield, chuckling at Mr. Bumsted getting fired again and anticipating what crazy scheme Dogbert will come up with today. Then I stumbled upon a strip I had never heard of before entitled “Mallard Fillmore”.
I wasn’t sure what to think about it. It was a political cartoon jabbing at Obama or Clinton. It wasn’t really funny, it just stated an obvious fact about either candidate. Well maybe it was an off day I thought to myself, I’ll read again tomorrow. The next day was another political cartoon, and again unfunny. Cartoonists often do strips with weekly themes so maybe next week would be different.
Monday rolled around again and I headed to the break room to read the comics. Hagar was great as always, as was Duplex and Beetle Bailey. Then my eyes caught Mallard Fillmore again. I couldn’t believe it. Just another jab at Obama. There had to be a mistake at the printing press. They must be meaning to print this comic with the rest of the political comics and it accidentally ends up with the good comics. But days and weeks went by and it was still being printed.
At first I was reading it out of curiosity, but as time went on it was just making me mad. This couldn’t be a mistake anymore, it was just a real bad comic. People read the funny pages to laugh at fictional characters in fictional situations. When they want to deal with real life problems, they read the rest of the paper. The comics are an escape and now they are being invaded by bad political comics.
Months went on and each day my coworkers laughed as I went on rants about how much I hate this comic. Actually saying I hate this comic is like saying Hitler wasn’t fond of the Jews. My coworkers agreed with what I said, but none of them had the hateful passion that this comic burned in my heart. I couldn’t stop reading it because I had to tune in each day just to see how much dumber it could get. But now I’ve had enough.
So now I ask you Bruce, please stop writing this comic. For the good of everyone reading the comics, just stop. If need be I will come up with 50,000 signatures (or 50,000 good comics), but you really need to stop.
Looking forward to never seeing your comic again,



Joseph Fender