a real jerry springer tale

let me tell you about a man named chris boggs. chris had millions of dollars. he had so much money that he just blew it on dumb shit. He bought a brand new firebird,and one night some one smashed a window on it. they didnt steal anything,just smashed a window. so instead of going and getting the window fixed,he just left it sit in his yard and went and bought a new car.
He bought a brand new $15,000 handgun and one day while out in the woods he dropped it by mistake......and instead of looking for it,he just said "fuck it" and left.
He bought a brand new plasma tv......for every room of his house....including his bathrooms.
He did other dumb shit but my minds fuzzy right now,but let me tell you about chris' fatal flaw....he could not get an erection
i dont know all the details,all i know is the accident involved him and a semi truck. Me and my friends thought long and hard about the possible scenarios that could have led to this and the only logical thing we can come up with goes like this
One day chris was coming out of a man hole...naked. Right as he got to hip level is weiner flopped onto the asphalt and that fateful semi truck just happed to cross paths with his weiner.
why am i tell you about chris and his disfunctional weiner?
well it plays a big part in the story
my sister laura met him one day through a friend or something and they became good friends and dated for a long time
well before you know it laura ends up pregnant. wait wut? we scratched our heads on this long and hard and could figure it out
chris some how believed this too,i dunno maybe he stuck his limp weiner into my sister,who knows,im not asking
anyway they get married at the most white trash wedding ive ever attended (complete with live music with some guy playing banjo and my dad and uncle singing along) i think the wedding was before she was pregnant,i just wanted to mention it
anyway eventually we find out that laura wasnt impregnated by chris at all. no infact it was chris' father,jim,who did it. this guy looks like hes close to 80 but i imagine hes only in his 60s.
well after this happened,jims wife leaves him for......jims brother.
so chris and laura get divorced and jim and laura marry
it stopped being so jerry springer now because jim is way cooler than that fag chris ever was.i think he managed to spend all of his money in a 6 month period.
and now laura and jim have 2 kids.whatev